E--Er--Exercise!

This is a snip-it of our exercises tonight. I was laughing too hard to do real push ups...

I am not sure what Rachel's excuse is.

A little longer video with the TV muted. I will have to do this again with them sometime. 

I must also teach Rachel what a push up is.

Xlerator to the Rescue!

Although these Xlerator hand drying machines are quick and efficient, my children hate them. They are LOUD and scary to toddlers. However, today it was my saving grace. See, Rachel prefers to straddle the big potty when she has to use the restroom. (I know, yuck! Especially a public one). Today as I was lifting her into the proper position (my lifting her=less of her touching the toilet), I hear *PLUNK* yep you guessed it, her foot (with socks only) right into the toilet. Thankfully, it had been flushed, but still...YUCK! However, after putting her on the toilet, I grabbed the sock and rinsed it then turned to my former enemy of the bathroom for help. I was able to dry her sock before she even finished doing her business. On that note, I would like to thank the maker of the Xlerator. You made quick work of a bad situation today.

I should also mention that all of this took place while I was wearing Lauren...I know, not easy.

Ferris Family Portrait

October 2011

The kids did a great job at this photo session. It is stressful to pick out outfits, schedule a time, keep everyone from getting some nasty bruise on their face in the week prior to shooting, and that is all BEFORE the camera even comes into view! I am proud of the two older ones for being in good moods and cooperating with the photographer. We were in and out in about an hour. A record for sure! This is my favorite family portrait so far!

The Napping Experiment

The past two weeks I have been doing some experimentation with the older two kids' nap time. I have tried being strict with the time. I thought maybe a strict routine would help them more consistently fall asleep. I was wrong and they needed lots of help falling asleep each day and each night.

Then I tried alternating the nap days with "lay-down" days. These are days when they are required to lay down on the couch and watch a 90 minute movie. If they get up the are sent to bed but if they stay on the couch and "rest" they don't have to take a nap that day. This still gives me some personal time in the middle of the day, and most of these days Levi would fall asleep on the couch and I would just move him to his bed.

After two weeks I have come to the conclusion that my almost 4-year old, Levi needs a nap almost every day. He can skip 1 or 2 a week max. However, Rachel (who just turned 2) may only need to nap 2 or 3 times a week. The plus side to this is that she is falling asleep faster and easier when she doesn't nap. She is also not crabby most evenings even without the nap.

I am a bit surprised by these findings. The four year old seems like the one who would be outgrowing naps. Rachel (up until recently) was my sleeper. She would sleep 12 hours at night and take 4 hour naps each day. I was pretty spoiled. I guess this just goes to show how different each kid really is. I am sharing this info because there may be a parent out there with the same frustrations I was going through and this might be helpful. And I just like to capture these moments for myself to look back on in the years to come.

Fall Festivities

This year we are taking it easy on the Fall activities. We have plenty of years to enjoy them and plan to do so when we don't have a newborn. However, we did get to Stony Creek Farms. They have all kinds of activities for the kids complete with the hayride to the pumpkin patch to pick out the perfect pumpkin. We went with friends and it turned out to be a perfect day!

Then we had to carve our pumpkins the following Monday. They didn't make it to Halloween, but they sure looked cool for a week or so.

Of course the big day is always a guessing game as to whether they will be in a good mood or whether they will put on their costumes or not. We had a fun day of preschool for Levi, then TorT at the town hall, then we hit up several houses on our street. Levi made it through about 1/2 of them and he began to melt down and ask to go home. Matt took him home and he fell asleep on the couch at about 7. I really thought he would LOVE TorT this year, but I was wrong. Maybe next year.

Rachel Turns 2

  

Last month Rachel turned the big 2. Only 11 days after her sister came into the world, we had a party for the new Big Sister. She really likes rainbows and will pick them out instantly when she sees one in a picture or on TV so I chose this as the theme for her party. This meant a rainbow cake that my sister, Samantha, graciously made for her, M&M cookies, skittles, colored Goldfish crackers and lots of colorful plates, napkins, etc. She had a great time and it seemed that everyone else did too.

My sister really helped me out by making Rachel's cake.

Rachel loves rainbows so this cake couldn't have been more perfect!

Rachel the two-year old is definitely a new challenge. She is a high emotions kid. This means exuberantly happy and dramatically sad all in the same minute. Maybe this is just what makes her a girl too :) She is increasing in her verbal communication to where most people can understand about half of what she says. I can understand almost all of what she says. Her latest phrase is "It not fair!" and "Check i dout!" (Check it out). She loves Lauren very much and LOVES to give her kisses...to the point of abuse sometimes. She is doing Mom's Day Out this year and after the first month, she doesn't cry or fuss when I leave. Considering her first month included a huge change at home, I am impressed. She also decided after Lauren came that she wanted to be a baby too...this meant she wanted to wear diapers. Thankfully, this was the only "baby" thing she wanted to imitate. In this past week she has started showing interest in the potty again. I hope this comes back quickly, but I am trying VERY HARD to let her lead. I am terrible at this parenting method. I want to truly let her give me the signs that she is ready, I don't want to push her into it. I jumped on it with her in August because she wanted to do it...then when Lauren came she changed her mind. I went with that too. It will come.

There is something about Rachel. Her laugh is so contagious. She is intense in all the great ways (and some of the bad ways too). Thankfully she is tough. She plays like one of the boys, but she can be dolled up like one of the girls. I hope that she is always able to find the balance with that. I just love her so much!

She tasted the icing and decided she was a big fan.

One month into the new norm...

So Lauren has now turned one month old. In these last four weeks I have started to learn who she is as a person (for now). Starting with her birth, I realize that she may take a while to warm up to ideas, but when she is ready she will come with all she has. She had no problems nursing and proved that by doing so right out of the gate and for about 30 minutes after that. She also has an amazing ability to block out the most ear piercing screams and screeches from her older siblings and just sleep. However, the mere creak of our mattress as I climb into bed at night will startle her wide awake.

She is such a good baby and I find myself marveling at the overflow of blessings I am experiencing in my life these days. When I envisioned my life as a young girl, I dreamed of having at least three kids...the number became more settled on 3 or 4 as I got older and by the time I met Matthew I had the number three as my ideal number. However, without sharing details, I wasn't even sure if I could have kids of my own. When he and I got married we knew it was a possibility that I may not be able to get pregnant. Not for sure, but a possibility. When we got pregnant with Levi I was shocked for a number of reasons. Mainly, because we were not trying to have kids. We had only been married for 8 months I wanted a little more time with my new husband. Plus, like I said, we didn't know if this was even possible. There are other factors in that time that made this a bittersweet discovery, but overall I was deeply overjoyed that I could even get pregnant.

Fast forward to 2011 and here we are three children and two miscarriages later. (I have never blogged about the miscarriages, but they happened in the fall of 2010. They were very early in the pregnancies and although they were painful, God did some very cool things during that time.) After having Lauren, I felt the dream was realized. I have this feeling of completeness with my family. I have lived long enough to know that life does NOT always go the way you think/hope it will. A lot of times, if you are following God, His plan is much better than the one you envisioned for yourself. But there are times, when His plan and your dream are one in the same. I kinda feel like this might be one of those times. I do not take for granted the blessing that I have in these three beautiful children.

Since Lauren has arrived I have experienced more contentment than ever in the early days of having a newborn. The journey of being a parent has been something I have trouble articulating. When Levi was born, I had no idea how to be a mother. I knew the basics of taking care of a newborn, but anyone can do that. Being a mother is so much more than that. As he grew, every victory he had, I took personally...every failure he had, I took personally. I was constantly looking to him for validation that I was a good mother. However, in that first year, you don't get a lot of feedback from your child. You get milestones reached and weight gained, and sleeping occurring. If these happen on time or early, you tend to pat yourself on the back. On the other hand, if they happen at a delayed pace or not the way you think they will, you beat yourself up. The grade you give yourself as a mother hangs on these markers. This is how it happened for me anyway. I was insecure and constantly compared myself to other mothers. With the second, I learned that some things are out of my control. I relaxed when she didn't do things exactly when I thought she should. I also didn't take it as personally when another child her age or younger accomplished something that she has little or no interest in doing. I stopped taking every little victory or defeat personally. I know I am a good mother. I am still growing and learning, but I know I am doing the best I can at this moment. I hope that I am better in a year than I am now. I know with time my patience will increase as my expectations decrease. I am learning that life is less about me and what I want and more about me and my family and what is best for us. God has a beautiful plan for each of us and I get to play a major part in the furtherance of three of His creations' journey. With the third, I am free from feeling my child needs to be the best or biggest or whatever. My children are such blessings to me and I just focus on loving them and being the mom that God made me to be. I am not there yet, but I have had some major changes since beginning this journey in March of 2007 (when I found out I was pregnant with Levi), and I look forward to the changes that lay ahead. 


Your reward for getting to the end of this post is pictures! Yay for you :)

Who knew Perfection was reached the first time?

LEVI: Mom, why do you still do bad things?

ME: Becuase I'm not perfect.

LEVI: Why, I'm perfect, why aren't you?

************************

We may be missing the mark when it comes to humility.

Were are your brains?

One of the many priceless conversations that I have with Levi.

LEVI: Mom, why don't you have your brains anymore?

ME: I still have my brains

LEVI: Where are they?

ME: They are in my head (pointing to me temple)

LEVI: No, the brains that were on your teeth.

ME: OOOHH, my braces, yeah those are gone.

LAUREN'S LABOR DAY ADVENTURE!

Lauren Rebecca Ferris 7lb 4oz 20inches.

Born at 9:54pm September 5th

"No pictures please. I am a mess!"

As the end of my pregnancy drew near, I began fantasizing about the perfect day for our little one to be born. I imagined, or dreamed really, about our baby being born on August 28th. When I saw that day come and go, I ran through several different scenarios. The due date and about every day within a 5 day radius. However, Labor Day was one of my top desires. I mean how many women get to say they labored on Labor Day? Well I am now one of the elite! Even though my labor started the night before, I spent almost my entire Labor Day preparing for the birth of our daughter. At 10:30pm on Sunday I had a contraction. It was enough to notice, but not painful (I had been having these kind for 3 weeks). About every hour to half hour, I would get another one. They were just intense enough to wake me up. I would return to sleep easily, but they persisted all night. I slept in (thank you Matthew) and took my time getting ready for the day. We just had Rachel at the house, so the morning was a little less chaotic than normal. We sat around until about 10 just eating breakfast and watching TV. We then decided to take a walk because it was such a great day for it and with only Rachel, we could get a nice long walk in. We walked to the park (1mile) around the loop of the park (.75mi) and home (1mi.) I was tired after that, but it probably helped keep the contractions coming. They were still about 15 minutes apart so I ate lunch and layed down on the couch for a bit and gave the Midwife a status report....I am famous for not notifying them in enough time for them to do more than come to my house, set up and deliver a baby. So, this heads up was out of my character and turned out to be a good thing. About 5:00 I made the call to the midwife that I thought she could casually make her way to the house. She arived around 6:15 and my contractions were about 7-9 minutes apart. Matt had taken the kids to his brother's house and picked up a few movies and things we needed at the grocery. I had started a soup for myself and the midwives for dinner. I really thought it could be a while. Then at about 8:00 the contractions got super intensense. We did a check shortly after and I was at a 9. That was both surprising and exciting to me. I figured a couple more contractions and it will be time to push....wrong. Again, I had that darn cirvical flap/lip/whatever. It sucks! I labored for another hour and 45 minutes or so. This was HARD labor and just shy of the urge to push. I was getting physically exhausted I had been standing for most of the day. (that is just how I like to labor). I finally said that I needed to lay down. I was becoming mentally defeated at this time too. I took three contractions in this position. That was a hard thing to do too. I am not one to lay down during a contraction! But it was what my body needed. Suddenly the urge to push was so strong, I leaped off the bed and squatted. I broke my water and the head came out immediate in that push. Then with the next, her body. Two minutes after flying off the bed, I had a baby in my arms. She took all day to get here, but when she was ready it was in a flash! She is so tiny and looks a lot like Rachel. I have already called her that once on accident...many more to come I am sure. I am on the baby high right now, but I have also gotten a few hours of solid sleep. She ate great all night and then slipped off to dream land and is still sleeping soundly next to me. I am in love!

What We Need Vs. What We Want

In these last few weeks of pregnancy I tend to follow a pattern. First, I become increasingly excited about the impending arrival of our little one. This turns to obsession about exactly when it is going to happen. I then get frustrated and borderline angry that it has not happened yet. Thirdly, I begin a hormonal weepy phase where I am near either rage or tears for most of my day. The tears however, pave the way to finally leaning on God for strength and patience. Finally, I settle into a peace and acceptance of God's perfect timing. I release all control I think that I have over the situation. None of my children have come before I enter this final phase, and this one is no different. I am now in the peace and acceptance phase. It has taken me all week of struggling with these phases to come to this point. Needless to say it has been a difficult week. For those of you who have helped me through it, I appreciate your kind words, your listening ear, and your prayers. I am blessed with a great group of friends/family.

Now the glaring event that brought me to this point is how I got the title of this post. See, I wanted a baby this week. I felt entitled to have a baby this week. After all, I have gone past my due date with the other two...haven't I served my time? But here is the cool thing about God. He was gracious enough to ignore my want and instead supply my need. On Tuesday, I spent the majority of my Midwife appointment crying. I was stressed about numerous things and beyond over being pregnant. One of the things on my list was the stress of what to do with Rachel's potty training. She, for the most part, was getting it at home, but I had to be very involved in order for her to succeed as much as she was. After a discussion with the midwife I thought I should probably table it for now. I was still conflicted when I left the appointment, but I decided to talk to Matthew that night and make a decision together. We decided to just do the pull-up thing and encourage her to continue as much as SHE wanted to. Well the next morning she woke up dry. She then proceeded to go the next three days with only a couple of accidents. (Including night and nap time). It was like she heard us discussing tabling it and was not in favor of that decision! So, we have decided to proceed with the notion that she may regress when the baby is born, but we are dealing with a child who has the full capacity to be potty trained! She eagerly sits and goes when we ask and has even had several successful outings. We have also had a few accidents, but I have freed myself of that stress and am okay with the fact that that will happen from time to time. See, I WANTED to have a baby this week, but God knew I NEEDED a victory with the potty training before baby comes. She never would have turned that corner if we would have been welcoming a new baby this week. When God showed me that, I began the final phase. He affirmed to me (once again) that HIS timing is perfect and that HE is interested in the most mundane details of my life. The kicker is that He does this time and time again, and yet He doesn't lose patience with me or give up on me. One of the many reasons why I love Him!

The Final Pregnancy Pictures

I did let the kids finger paint my belly. It was fun, but Levi began just rubbing it in like lotion towards the end which resulted in this brown color throughout most of my belly. Oh well, it is art.

38 Weeks

Matthew took this picture in our backyard.

This is why I love our new camera!

I am in a weird place today. I can feel my emotions barely beneath the surface. I am close to tears over anything slightly touching. I am still a nervous ball of energy and yet, I have little patience for anyone/anything. I have become so filled with different emotions that the only way to move on about my day and be productive was to write them down. So here it goes.

I am getting some alone time today because I thought if I didn't these random and somewhat unpredictable emotions might be cast on some poor undeserving soul. (I apologize if I encounter you today and am not quite myself.)

I have the need to clean my entire house, yet I lack the clarity to sufficiently get it done in a few hours. I also am obsessed with the baby in my mind right now. I just want to sit around and think about him/her all day. I am excited to meet this little one, yet I am not quite ready for the big day. I have a full weekend planned and am excited to get to all the fun things ahead. PLUS there are those two other little angels who are in constant need of, oh I don't know, being cared for. I so want to make these last few weeks special, but I am falling prey to exhaustion and laziness. This then makes me feel bad and well just typing it now and thinking about it I almost started crying (see what I mean about the emotions just under the surface?). I pray that God takes mercy on my frail emotional and mental state in these last few weeks and does not make me wait much past my due date (or even a few days early would be just fine with me). I know this one, just like the other two, will come in His perfect timing. I just wish I were more focused on the here and now and not the near future.

I am also trying to absorb this pregnancy and all the wonderful things about it. Matthew and I have talked and agreed that three is the magic number for us. It is hard to believe that in five years I went from a newlywed to the end of my child bearing years. It seems like a blink of an eye. I can't say with 100% certainty that this is it, because frankly God could change our hearts. However, I am glad that Matthew and I so easily agreed on a number. Neither of us feels that we had to give in to the other. Now in two years when I no longer have a baby in the house...I will probably be going through some withdrawals. But I just trust that my heart will still be saying the same thing...or that Matthew's will be feeling the same as mine.

As far as this pregnancy? It has been a boring one. As in no complications, no spotting, no weird problems cropping up. I feel SUPER blessed for that. Rachel's was not so easy and I am glad my last is so "boring". And honestly, I feel really good for the most part at 38 weeks. I am not as achy all the time as I was with Rachel. Not sure why, but I am glad. Now sure I have those days when I feel like crap or at the end of the day I am wiped, but overall the end has not been as taxing as I thought it would be.

Well, anyway, I am feeling a bit better now and will hopefully get to accomplish all that I have on my mini-to-do list. I hope to get the pictures of the kids finger painting tomorrow and then it will be off to a GIRLS NIGHT! Then on Sunday I get to serve on the worship team for the last time before I go on "maternity leave". I love singing with the team so much that this is also making me emotional...more than it ever has before. Next week it is orientation for the kids preschool on Tuesday, massage on Wednesday, meet-the-teacher day on Thursday and boom we are looking at the week of my due date. So, I hope to focus on all the fun things planned in the week ahead.

Fun with Potty Training

It probably is better to coordinate your undies and hat.

I never thought I would say this, but potty training Rachel has been MUCH easier and almost fun. We are in the middle of day 3 of the the 3-day method. She has been accident free all day! This morning I put her in undies and she was less than thrilled. Shortly after, she took them off. I was about to get on to her and tell her to put them back on when I realized that she was headed straight for her potty. She sat down and relieved herself completely unassisted! I was thrilled! So, I let her run around naked the rest of the morning and she hasn't had a single accident. She even pooped on the potty without having to be told to go to the potty. I am trying not to get my hopes up, but I believe it is safe to say she has grasped the concept! I keep telling myself there will be accidents and she hasn't even had clothes on yet, but man is this a step in the right direction and this is only day 3! Thank you Jesus for this gift. Hoping that the diapers I bought last month are the last pack of size 4's I buy for a long time :)

The Ferris Finale

Oh baby! We are in the home stretch in terms of my pregnancy with Ferris Finale. I am 35 weeks and am preparing for my home visit with the midwives tomorrow. "What is a home visit?" Well, I am so glad you asked.

If you are planning to birth at home, about 4 weeks before your due date, the midwife comes to your house. They drop off the hospital supplies kit that is necessary for the birth (sterile supplies). They also check that you have the list of things that you are to provide (wash clothes, blankets for the baby, etc.) These things are kept together in a laundry basket so that the midwife can easily access them during the birth. This is also a time for the midwife to meet the people attending the birth, and share a meal with the family. They get a little familiar with the house too...I mean the hosts will be a bit occupied when they show up for the birth so it is nice that it isn't the first time they have been to your house.

I look forward to this visit for so many reasons. First off, I have been seeing the same midwife for all three children and I enjoy spending time with her. Secondly, this means that this little one will be joining our family very soon. Third, this is one of the prenatal visits that I get to involve the whole family. By this point both of my children have an idea of what is coming. Levi obviously gets it more than Rachel. He still doesn't know how the baby gets out, but has yet to point-blank ask me. His going theory is that it comes out my mouth...I have told him this is not true, but he doesn't ask any further questions. I am just waiting, and when it is time, I will tell him the truth to the best of his current ability to understand.

Lately, I am seeing that I am becoming more new-baby oriented. Every other Facebook post seems to relate to the baby and at least one of the items on my daily "to-do" list is related to the impending arrival. This is a good thing because I haven't been quite ready for baby in the recent months. I have been enjoying sleeping in and having 2 hours each day to myself during nap time. I was holding onto this lifestyle as long as I could. Now, I have been thrust into a plethora of changes. We have moved Rachel out of the nursery, she is demanding potty-training attention, and nap time is not happening every day. I am surprised by how well I am giving up my routine. I guess I am falling into the habits of a mom with a new baby. This lifestyle is so little about you and so much about everyone else in the household. The only thing I am selfish about is my eating. I will neglect most everything to get a quick bite in. I have had to learn this over the past couple of years. With Levi I let my eating go in order to fill others' needs. I realized this was not helping anyone. My eating has benefits to the whole family. If I eat, I have energy and patients that otherwise would not be there. I also need fuel in order to feed my baby. I make this a priority because I know how it affects the rest of my day and those around me.

I hope to post a picture of the growing bump in the next week or so. I have decided to do pregnancy pictures here at home. I am going to let the kids finger paint my belly. This will be a way of including them in the process. I hope they have fun with it.

Potty Party: The Sequel

So the years are starting to fly by and before I knew it I am staring my least favorite part of parenting (thus far) in the face once again. That's right, potty training. I hate it for lots of reasons. I won't list them all, but basically I am constantly second guessing my methods and wondering if my child will ever get it. I know from experience that they will. Levi was potty trained before he was 2 1/2 and was staying dry all night a few months after turning 3. However, the first year of potty training or being potty trained was stressful. I have been told that girls are easier and that the second child is easier as well...although I know that this is not 100% across the board true, I am hoping that it is in my case. I was not sure if I even wanted to attempt this milestone before the Ferris Finale arrives, but Rachel (having no concept of her near future) has been stripping off her clothes, peeing in her bed, and also refusing to wear diapers at home. So at 22 months I see no other course of action but to take the leap.

The 20 minute timer method was a joke for Levi and totally impractical for us. It works for lots of people so I am not knocking it all together. Each kid has a method that works for them. So I was in search of a new method for Rachel. She is aware of what her body was doing, but we needed to help her know what to do with that function. Thus, the 3 day method of stalking your child and running them to the potty as soon as you see an accident occurring is what we are going with. We are on day 1 right now. I think I can handle this for 2 more days...or more. At this moment I am going to commit to this idea of staying home and observing her (almost) every move for the foreseeable future. It is too hot to go anywhere anyway and if I have errands I will just wait to go in the evening by myself! (I love doing that anyway).

Day 1: So far we have had 3 pee-pee occurrences. All three started somewhere else, but ended on the potty. Plus a big victory. She pooped on the potty and not in her panties! This victory alone has made the day a success in my book. I saw the look of grimace on her face and suggested we go sit on the potty. She went without any fuss. I was elated! She got a prize and she genuinely looked proud of herself. Here's to hoping day 2 goes better in the pee pee department.

Ant Patrol: Leave it to the one year old.

As the mother of a boy, I have been careful to not pass on my disdain for insects to my son. Although I am not afraid of most bugs, I do not like any of them. I am one of few human beings who doesn't like butterflies. (I don't mind looking at them...just not up close. Pictures are sufficient). Lightning bugs are the single type of bug I will actually catch and I couldn't even begin to tell you why.

Anyway, for some reason Levi is afraid of house flies and ants. He will run screaming bloody murder if he comes too close to either insect. This is not something he got from me. I tell him they won't hurt him and he can squish them if he wants. Yesterday I witnessed Rachel doing just that. She was on the porch at my parents house and began stomping her foot on the ground. I realized she was trying to kill an ant. She was not afraid of it at all, she took it upon herself to rid the world of one more of those tiny black pests. Later, she did the same thing on the pool deck...in bare feet. The ants are not a problem for her.

(Here comes the funny part.)

This morning I am finishing up my shower when a screaming three-year old comes pounding on my door. I open and ask what's wrong. He replies panicked "There's an ant in the bathroom downstairs!" "So, go kill it." I say. He says he can't and that I need to go downstairs and take care of it. I say "Well, Rachel isn't afraid of them and she was killing them by herself yesterday." He just looks up at me and says, "Well, then can I go wake her up so she can kill the one downstairs?"

The method of motivation I was trying to use was clearly lost on him.

Battle of the Butts

Yesterday, we went to my parents' house to swim and hang out with Mamaw. While we were there we took a wagon ride to the creek to throw rocks (apparently this is only fun in the country). My sisters' little girl Amiyah was on the ride as well. This means three kids, two seats. The obvious would be the two younger girls should share a seat. However, I told my mom (within earshot of Levi), "Levi has a smaller butt than Rachel so maybe Amiyah should share with him."

(fast forward to today)

This morning Levi randomly says "Mom, my butt is bigger than Rachel's." to which I reply, "No it isn't." (This argument goes back and forth for a bit). Until he says, "Yes Mom, my butt is bigger. Come feel my butt. It is bigger."

Then, after breakfast he proudly announces "I finished all my sausage!" I say, "Wow! Good job, you are really a big eater these days." To which he replies, "Yeah and my butt is getting bigger!"

I may be putting across a bad message...

Forgiveness: A Lesson That can Never be Taught too Early

Today was not one of those days that I would like to remember when it comes to my behavior. I had a bad "Mommy Moment" that resulted in me yelling at Levi during nap time (for not napping) and leaving his room to go scream at the top of my lungs. I am totally embarrassed to admit this, but it is crucial to the story.

You see after I did this, I felt horrible. I went to get Matthew to take over the situation because I knew I was in no emotional position to do so. He did and I was grateful he was here. After I had collected myself I went upstairs to make things right. However, when I got to Levi's room, he was asleep. I patiently waited until the end of nap time. When he awoke he came bounding down the stairs in his usual Levi-full-of-energy way and I asked him to sit on the couch in the play room so I could talk to him. I scooped him up in my lap and looked him straight in the eye and apologized for my behavior. What little he had done wrong did not excuse how I had reacted. I asked, "Will you forgive me?" to which he replied, "Will you forgive me?" I immediately said yes. He then said he forgave me. But he added, "You know, people shouldn't yell at other people. But, I love you anyway." And then proceeded to give me a big hug and kiss.

I was crying a bit because I was truly sorry for my behavior AND because I hope this is an indicator that we are raising a child who truly knows how to forgive and love those that have wronged him. He is only 3 and a half, but there are days when I feel he is wise beyond his years.

~~Funny Story~~

"I see Jesus!"

Sunday we went to Conner Prairie. We were around the barn area looking at the sheep and ponies in the fenced-in area around the barn. Suddenly Levi shouts, "I see Jesus!" I said, "What? Where?" Knowing full well the real Jesus was not hanging out at Conner Prairie, but curious as to whom he was referring to. He says, "Right there." and points to a CP worker with a staff trying unsuccessfully to round up the ponies into the barn. "That guy? Why do you think he is Jesus?" He replies, "Well, Jesus is our shepherd and that guy is a shepherd so he's Jesus ." I love three-year-old logic!

Good disguise Jesus...but the staff gave you away.

Levi-I'm not a baby, I'm a big boy-Ferris

I wanted to be fair and take a moment to blog about Levi. He is also growing faster than my mind can comprehend. He has completely left the toddler stage and is plowing full force into being a preschooler. As a matter of fact he will officially be in preschool starting in September.

Our latest adventure has been the beginning of Phonics-type lessons. We have that series "Your Baby can Read" and we are also working on the sounds letters make and putting them together. He is taking to it really well and watching him learn and put sounds together to make words is awesome. We do it every day unless he doesn't want to. I want this to be fun for him so I let him decide if we do it or not. We are also working on writing the letters of his name. He is getting better and better. We will branch out beyond that at some point, but I am in no hurry. I often struggle with the balance of learning all these skills and letting him just be three. He likes the one-on-one time that comes with it though, as well as learning new things. I guess with his personality, he would be the first to tell me he hated it.

He is still very aware of the baby in my belly. I think he is very excited about another sibling. He shows great care for my belly and talks to the baby a lot. He also makes sure to give the baby a hug before I get my hug. I am okay with that, he is more at my tummy's height than my arms. His favorite thing to do is to kiss my belly and immediately follow it with a razz-berry. I find it funny and think the baby can probably hear it and thinks..."man that brother of mine is weird!"

He is very caring towards Rachel as well...when he is not busy pestering her. For the most part, he helps her when she needs it and he will run and get things for her/me. She is learning that he hates when she repeats everything he says and so a fight can break out quickly when that game starts. They also love to sing together. Not the same tune mind you, but simultaneously. This happens most frequently in the car. There are times when I wish I had a fiberglass wall between myself and them. Their volume can wake the dead. Other times I love listening to them sing and imagine that one day they will be a family band. I hope that in the near future they will at least sing the same song at the same time...that will be easier to tolerate on a regular basis.

A few things about Levi

His favorite color: Green

His favorite game: Tickle and tackle (this is a Daddy/Levi game)

His favorite movie: Lord of the Beans

His favorite show: Little Einsteins

His favorite food: smoothies (milk and yogurt)

His favorite activity: riding his bike or swimming

His favorite toy: anything related to Cars (the movie) or Little Einsteins

We are taking him to his first movie theater experience this next week. Cars 2 is coming out and we thought it would be a perfect first movie for him. Hope he can make it through. I can't wait for his reaction to a screen that big!

Here are a few pictures from Conner Prairie.

It was such a beautiful day and the kids loved the animals!

Levi making a candle

Rachel: A big girl in the making.

**Injury Update**

After only 3 weeks Rachel's scar is looking great! We are diligent about sun screen and scar cream, but I think by the fall it will hardly be noticeable. By the time she is a teenager it will probably be hidden in her hair anyway.

She accessorized herself.

Rachel has started that rapid transformation out of the baby/young toddler phase into the full blown toddler lurching towards preschooler. It seems from 18 months to 2 years they are changing almost daily.

For one, her vocabulary is unbelievable. She says so many little sentences and new words every day. Most people can understand more than half of what she says and we can understand almost all of what she says. I know this is common and it happened with Levi too, but it still amazes me. She repeats just about everything you say...both good and bad. As a matter of fact, when Levi calls for me from downstairs, she usually replies, "I comin" just like I would. When I have to count to Levi to do something for example "Levi, put on your shoes"....no action..."Levi, 1" Rachel will usually chime in and say "2". She is such a little mommy sometimes.

Her other new step vocally speaking is singing. She -like Levi- loves to sing and make up songs. Hers typically don't have easy to understand lyrics, but one day I caught her at Levi's piano, playing and singing into the microphone. Before I got the video camera out, she was singing, "I want you bad!" over and over again. Once I brought the camera out she started singing "Cheese!"

She is also now telling me when it is time to eat and what she wants. She is very good about saying please (peez) and thank you (ankyou) so it is hard to turn down her requests.

Another great phase she has finally entered is giving kisses more freely. Up until recently you kind of felt like you hit the lottery when she would give you an actual kiss on the lips. Now, there are days when she gives more than I can handle.

I am also amazed at how she gave up the pacifier. Pa-pa as it was known around here was a bedtime must. I had dwindled its use to nap and night time only, but it was a strict part of our ritual. If I didn't give her Pa-pa it was asked for by name...until one random night I asked, "Are you ready for Pa-pa?" She looked at me almost as if I had offended her and said, "No Pa-pa." and that was literally the last day it was ever used. I told Matthew that night that she had given it up and not to mention it again. It worked and she has been pacifier free since May 10th and there hasn't been a single struggle. I am grateful, because I truly wasn't sure how to wean her totally off it. She made it easy for me.

Now that Pa-pa is out of our lives, we are gearing up to move her to Levi's room. They are going to be sharing a room as we only have 3 bedrooms (the 4th is an office). I am nervous about this transition and am truly not looking forward to it. Levi wakes up earlier than Rachel and because he is older, he just plays in his room or something until I get up. I cannot do this with Rachel. I will be forced to get up when they do...I know I need to suck it up and just do it, but we have a good thing going right now and I know I will loose this gift in September anyway, but I just want to hold on to it while I still can. I think they will do fine sleeping in the same room, it is just the waking part I am unsure about. Time will tell...

Another task I am contemplating diving into this summer is potty training. She already asks to go potty and actually pees on the potty periodically, but to launch into it full force is not something I was sure I wanted to tackle this summer. I am trying to let her lead but it does get difficult when we are in a public place and Levi says he has to go potty, then she says she has to go potty. I want to encourage this, but it is cumbersome to get a diaper off a 20 mo. old and hold her on a potty and then redress her (and she didn't even pee!) all while 6-7 months prego. Levi is pretty self sufficient so taking him to the bathroom is easy. But if I truly train her, then maybe she will only say that when she truly has to go...or maybe not. Oh well, I am not going to worry about it until we get back from our weekend away. I am not going to put any effort into it and then leave her with someone else for a few days, she may totally regress. So I guess I have a little over a week to decide what I am going to do :)

In short, we are truly enjoying our daughter. She brings an extra element to our lives that I am not sure another boy could bring. I have said this before, but I will say it again. I feel very blessed to have been given both genders to raise. I love them both for very different reasons. I enjoy all the good and bad that comes with each gender. At this point I wouldn't say that either has been easier than the other. We will see if I feel the same after potty training is over. "They" say girls are easier. "They" also say that the second is usually easier than the first. We shall see. I hope "they" are right on both accounts.

To be fair, I am writing a post about Levi as well, I just felt like Rachel is changing so fast that I needed to write it all down. I love this age and know that it goes by super quick! She will be 2 just after the baby comes and I feel like that is just around the corner. The summer goes so fast and here we are almost mid-way through June.

Also, to clarify, I can't wait to have another of either gender in this house. I love having both genders and I don't have a preference as to what Ferris#3 is. Except that the double gender is going to be sharing a room and I think that 2 boys would be easier in that regard. Plus, if Rachel was the only girl than she and I could go have special girl time and her middle child thing would fall second to the fact that she was the only girl...superficial reasons, I know. That is why it truly doesn't matter if this baby is a boy or a girl. I just can't wait to find out!