What We Need Vs. What We Want

In these last few weeks of pregnancy I tend to follow a pattern. First, I become increasingly excited about the impending arrival of our little one. This turns to obsession about exactly when it is going to happen. I then get frustrated and borderline angry that it has not happened yet. Thirdly, I begin a hormonal weepy phase where I am near either rage or tears for most of my day. The tears however, pave the way to finally leaning on God for strength and patience. Finally, I settle into a peace and acceptance of God's perfect timing. I release all control I think that I have over the situation. None of my children have come before I enter this final phase, and this one is no different. I am now in the peace and acceptance phase. It has taken me all week of struggling with these phases to come to this point. Needless to say it has been a difficult week. For those of you who have helped me through it, I appreciate your kind words, your listening ear, and your prayers. I am blessed with a great group of friends/family.

Now the glaring event that brought me to this point is how I got the title of this post. See, I wanted a baby this week. I felt entitled to have a baby this week. After all, I have gone past my due date with the other two...haven't I served my time? But here is the cool thing about God. He was gracious enough to ignore my want and instead supply my need. On Tuesday, I spent the majority of my Midwife appointment crying. I was stressed about numerous things and beyond over being pregnant. One of the things on my list was the stress of what to do with Rachel's potty training. She, for the most part, was getting it at home, but I had to be very involved in order for her to succeed as much as she was. After a discussion with the midwife I thought I should probably table it for now. I was still conflicted when I left the appointment, but I decided to talk to Matthew that night and make a decision together. We decided to just do the pull-up thing and encourage her to continue as much as SHE wanted to. Well the next morning she woke up dry. She then proceeded to go the next three days with only a couple of accidents. (Including night and nap time). It was like she heard us discussing tabling it and was not in favor of that decision! So, we have decided to proceed with the notion that she may regress when the baby is born, but we are dealing with a child who has the full capacity to be potty trained! She eagerly sits and goes when we ask and has even had several successful outings. We have also had a few accidents, but I have freed myself of that stress and am okay with the fact that that will happen from time to time. See, I WANTED to have a baby this week, but God knew I NEEDED a victory with the potty training before baby comes. She never would have turned that corner if we would have been welcoming a new baby this week. When God showed me that, I began the final phase. He affirmed to me (once again) that HIS timing is perfect and that HE is interested in the most mundane details of my life. The kicker is that He does this time and time again, and yet He doesn't lose patience with me or give up on me. One of the many reasons why I love Him!