The Trinity : Levi Style

(This morning during a conversation with Levi about 

Jesus aka the Coolest/Biggest/Fastest Super Hero of all time)

Levi: Is Jesus bigger than God?

Me: Well, he is God's Son so he is probably smaller, but he is still as powerful because/(insert abrupt interruption)

Levi: Oh yeah! I know cuz it's Jesus, God and the Whole Spirit. They are like three Gods but they are really one.

Me: How did you know that? (We have never talked about the trinity. I felt the topic was too hard to understand, and frankly, it never came up).

Levi: Drew told me.

How cool is it to know that my 4 year old and his 5 year old cousin are having theological discussions in their spare time?

And this is a glimpse of "child-like" faith. He didn't get all caught up in the magnitude of the trinity being three-in-one. He just heard the information and accepted it. Not worrying about the probability of it all! Each day I am blown away by how having children in my life has allowed God to speak to me in new and awesome ways. I say that not to say that I hope he blindly takes in all information (even of the biblical variety). I hope that he questions and seeks Godly council and dives into the Word to have truth revealed, but child-like faith accepts the truth of what is in God's word and then as we grow and understand more, we get the details.

Choosing to FLY

Again, I am taking a step back from blogging about the kids to journal my own feelings in this stage of life. (Sorry to those who really just want the cute videos and pictures, maybe next time).

As the weather has turned warmer and the kiddos are growing by leaps and bounds physically and emotionally, I find that I too am growing, changing, embracing my role in life. I know that seems odd to still be embracing it all after becoming a mother 4 and half years ago, but it is a slow process for some. This summer for the first time I am taking on adventures with three kids. All under the age of 5. We have gone to the Children's Museum, the library, the stores, and the park. I feel victorious every time we come home in one piece, all accounted for and without major melt downs (me included).

 So onto the next BIG goal: 

Enjoying the summer with all the activities 

AND keep the house in order (somewhat).

Now this is where I start to loose a lot of you. I know, this is overrated and in the end it won't really matter. I get it, and I do have the perspective that says my kids won't remember how clean the house was, but they will remember (and cherish) the time we spent together. However, I am learning that there is something to be said for a (moderately) clean house.

A couple of months ago or so a friend of mine posted on facebook about going to bed with her sink shining and how the FlyLady would be proud. I had no idea who the FlyLady was or why she would care that my friends sink was shining. Withing a few weeks another friend mentioned this FlyLady. So I asked her more about it and learned the basics of the FlyLady.net website. I still didn't go on there because I felt that I was staying afloat in the chaos that is my life with three preschoolers around. Then one day I just decided to read up on it for myself. Well, this website is something else. She has the whole house mapped out and everything broken down by day and month and habits and so on and so forth. Well, let me tell you the website as a whole is overwhelming! If you think you are going to look at all of it and adopt it as a way of life, good luck! You are a better person than me. (The FlyLady herself would not condone such a bold move).

BUT, here is what I am doing and this is all I may do for the rest of the summer.

1.) I get up everyday and make my bed. This may be old habit for some of you, but for me it is new. I don't hold this habit in high regard. If you are going to just get right back in to it, why does it matter? Well, it kinda doesn't matter, but it sets a good tone for my day.

2.) I keep my sink empty (er). I fix breakfast and then I do the dishes. I fix lunch, I do the dishes. I fix dinner, yep, you guessed it, I do the dishes. I make sure there are little to no dishes in the sink when I go to sleep. I will be the first to tell you I HATE doing dishes. My hands HATE doing dishes, but I find the task split into 5 minute increments (several times a day) beats the 60+ minutes I stood at the sink every couple of days. I am interrupted less since the task takes just a few minutes. And for some reason (just like FlyLady says) I feel amazing when I wake up and come down stairs to start my day with a clean (or mostly clean) kitchen and sink. I liken this to a professional who starts her morning with a clean/organized desk. We are just naturally more productive right out of the gate!

3.) I get dressed (before 10:00). I am prone to stay in my pajamas for most of the day when I am not going anywhere. This, I have found, does in fact hinder my productivity (as much as I tried to convince myself to the contrary). I don't get dressed the second I wake up (like she suggests) because there are days when I work out first, or the kids need attention before I get a shower so dressing doesn't make since. But nonetheless, I make an effort to dress as soon as I have the opportunity. This is one that I almost didn't adopt right away. But I have found that we are ready to go and do with much less stress if everyone is already dressed. When we decide to spontaneously go to the park at 10:00am, everyone is already ready to go.

(If you have hung with me so far and are still reading, give yourself a mental high five)

That's it, these three things are my only changes and my only goals for every day for now. They may seem small. Some of you may already do these things. Kudos. I think they have drastically changed how I run my routine around here. And here is an example of why that is true.

We were heading to Chicago last Friday for a weekend with family. I had spent the week hammering these three things into a daily habit and low and behold, I started seeing that I could think more clearly. I went to bed feeling good about what I had accomplished and I began tackling some other areas that never made it on my "Today To-Do List". So when we backed out of the drive way on Friday morning, the dishes were done and my bed was made. Which meant when we got home Sunday afternoon, my dishes were done and my bed was made! I had a little clean up that night after dinner, but Monday morning I was starting three or four steps ahead of where I usually am the day after a vacation. So when a family member came to stay with us on Tuesday night, the house was clean. Not having to worry about the kitchen gave me freedom to clean areas not usually on the list AND I even made homemade bread. I am learning to clean as I go.

There is more to the story, but I have to stop for now. More on this new change in my life from the spiritual side next time. (I promise a cute kid update will be stuck in shortly after this post)

Caught in the Act

She is OK

So I was doing some computer work and listening to music when I noticed Rachel jamming across the table from me. I happened to be able to play the song again and catch her in the act. She was definitely feeling the groove!

Lauren turns 9 Months!

Little Miss is growing all too fast!

I may not have been great about blogging Lauren's progress in the last 9 months, but I have been great about taking pictures of her on her "month birthdays". I did this with the other two and was determined to do the same with her. She actually got the best pictures of all of them because I started writing on this board and we have a better camera.

Here she is on June 5th. She is cruising along objects so well and has stood up on her own without assistance. I believe she will be walking earlier than the other two kiddos. She is also my largest child at this age. She weighed in at 16lbs 13oz. on the 5th with a height of 28 inches. Ironically, she was the smallest at birth. She is the first of the three to stay on the charts in both height and weight throughout her first year (barring any major changes in the last 3 months). However, I couldn't care less at this point, my how things have changed.

She also has two teeth that came in before the 9 month mark. Her top two are just below the surface and I expect they will make an appearance later this week. She is such an easy baby! I can't believe how fast this year is going and how much we have enjoyed ourselves. I know this all sounds so peaches and cream, but I truly feel this way most of the time. I may get stressed, but having her around is rarely the reason. She is a cake walk compared to the other two these days. I mean I am typing this at 11:36am. Lauren went to bed at around 8pm last night, and she is STILL ASLEEP! I have yet to see her beautiful face today. 

Randomness

I am a slacker! But I just cleared the camera of all it's digital gems.

 This may never get old. I try and make as many spikes on her head as possible.

 Cuteness with a side of Cheeto shmutz.

 "I am awesome, I know."

The next three happened during a sudden down pour. It began really coming down, so I looked out to call the kids in and they were no where to be found, but I heard giggling. I noticed they were hiding under the tarp and decided to snap a few pictures before ending their fun. They were soaked but having a blast!

 We had several fans going to dry our carpet so...when in Rome...

Playing with the different effects on my camera

Fishbowl effect

 Toy Camera effect

Hey! You should know it is bad manners to reveal a Lady's age!

(Little Miss is starting to get sensitive about her age already!)

The End of an Era

"REST" IN PEACE


This is a sad day at the Ferris house. I have officially called the end of a glorious era known as: Daily Nap Time for All Ferris Children. It began almost four and a half years ago when we welcomed little Levi into our lives. It would possibly still be going strong if the second Ferris child hadn't killed it so unexpectedly. She is wired in such a way that daily naps do more harm than good at her age.

Levi would probably still take naps at least a few times a week if he didn't KNOW that Rachel was not napping. Thus, no daily napping for him either. We are lucky to get 1 or 2 naps a week.

I am dealing with this new dynamic better than expected. Lauren is still taking 3 naps a day, and with Levi and Rachel playing well together I get some "me" time. I have come to hold some form of ME time each day as a huge contributor to my happiness. It is not selfish and it is not a luxury. It is imperative to my mental health!

The Curse of the Baby of the Family

The third child...the last child...the finale...the baby of the family.

All of these phrases have been used to describe Lauren, our youngest and final Ferris baby. I have fought to keep it equal. I take a picture of her to mark each month just like I did with Levi and Rachel. I take a fair amount of pictures of her with my phone, but otherwise, I am slacking a bit. I have so much going on that to sit around and wait for a good photo op would be just as bad as catching up on all the seasons of Grey's Anatomy in a single week. (Or reading all three Hunger Games books in a month...ooops, I did do that). Anyway, I feel that I have committed a far worse crime than lagging a bit on my pictures of my sweet baby Lauren. I have failed to blog (journal) her milestones.

This can't be rectified in a single sitting, but I can say that I have something to give her that the others don't have at this point. A great excuse.

Dear Lauren,

I know that if you ever get a chance to look over this blog you will notice that you have a wonderful birth story. I wrote it less than 24 hours after you were born. We were waking up from our first night together and I lovingly typed it on the laptop while you slept just inches from me. Then...it seems that you sort of fell off the face of the blogger planet. I promise you didn't, but my ability to get to a computer and easily put a digital pin in that moment in time has increased in difficulty. But here is what I have been doing. I have been making mental pictures of when you first rolled over (10 or 11 weeks old). I know that you sat up at 5 months and you hit your weight goal of 13lb 14oz at your 6 month check up. I know that one day in the morning you couldn't sit up on your own and then by afternoon of that same day *poof* you could! It was amazing to see you grow a little right in front of my eyes. I sit at night and push your little soft baby head right up to my nose and take deep breathes and try to memorize what it feels and smells like to have a warm baby head right on my face. I hold back tears sometimes when you reach a milestone, because it is the last first time I will see that! So I may not be great at writing down all these things, but I am trying to enjoy them to the fullest. I will catch up a little more with some pictures when I am able to. I have taken some great pictures and you will get your own post with lots of pictures VERY soon. I promise!

Love,
Your Mama

A New Perspective

I am part of the committee that is planning our 10 year class reunion. I have been on the Facebook page creating posts purely for the intent of keeping the reunion on people's mind. I never thought this little task would give me insight into myself.

I posted a comment the other day that said, "Like this comment if you hated High School, but still plan to attend the reunion." I was merely poking fun at a comment another classmate had made and was trying to make a point. I also "liked" the comment. I didn't really HATE high school, but I never felt like I fit in, I wasn't popular and I made some choices that I wish I hadn't. The comments that followed were eye opening. A few people got on and said that they loved high school. Another commented to the notion that
I belonged to the popular group and had a lot going for me in high school! This is where I stopped in my tracks. That was the last thing I would have thought about myself in high school


At first, I was a bit taken aback that anyone would think that of me in high school. (Honestly, I am still struggling with whether the comment was directed at me...maybe it wasn't...) However, this got me thinking seriously about contentment and being appreciative for what you do have. As my mind meditated on this I had a huge epiphany. I am always (to a degree) unhappy with my life. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to just dwell in and enjoy, yet I am always looking for the next thing to further enrich the things I already have. I thought that this had passed in my teen years. I thought I was better at this, but I took that afternoon to examine my thoughts as of late.

• I long for the days when I am not dealing with poop multiple times a day
• I dream about the days that my kids are in school and for a brief time each day I can have my OWN agenda
• I look at our finances and imagine what it will be like when X, Y and Z are paid off
• I renovate our house in my mind 10X a day
• I see other moms that always seem put together and think, why can't I be like that?

Wow, I am sickened at just this small list! I have so much going for me right now. I have three beautiful, healthy children and they will never be this innocent and little EVER AGAIN. I need to remind myself of that more often. We live in a wonderful house. If we never do another thing to it, it is a great house! I will miss my kids when they are all gone at school for a large part of the day 5 days a week. I know I will adjust and it will be good to work more then, but I need to look at the bright spots of the gig I have now. And the money well, I can still think of those things and plan. I just need to be content with what we have.

Finally, I don't have it all together. Maybe someone thinks I do, but here is a secret. My house is messy most of the time. I plan play dates so that I have motivation to clean it (and the social interaction it is a double bonus here). I have a wonderful lady who comes and cleans my floors and bathrooms twice a month. (whew, that felt good to "say" I have been holding that one in for a few months). I play on Facebook so much that I think I loose an hour or so a day in 5-10 minute increments. I used to have a type A personality but the Type B in me had a coup and well here we are. I may never see her again.

I say all that to say that we can have a very low opinion of our self while someone else has a VERY different perspective of our life. There needs to be some balance. I may seem to have it all together because that is how I want to be perceived to a degree (don't we all?). I also need to pull back the reins and look at my life with the reality lens on a be happy for what it really is, not what I wish it to be. I am blessed. I have a lot going for me, and I am both humbled by that and proud of that at the same time.

Time is Slipping Away

So I just realized it has been way too long since my last post. The kids are growing so fast! Lauren is sitting and crawling and doing all the things babies like to do around 6 months. I plan to post updated pictures as soon as I can. Today is not that day, but a few technological advances have entered my life that my make this easier :)

Be Ready When you Pray...to Change

Most of the time this blog has to do with my children. From time to time I sidestep and talk about how their phase in life is changing me as a person/mother. Today it has more to do with me than them. I am throwing down the gauntlet. Today is the day I open up about my anger.

Those who know me well, know that I struggle with this. I admit that I default to yelling at my children. I HATE this about myself. If given the chance, I would change this ugly trait in myself in an instant. Even though I can change, it's not instantly, but over time. This is day one. I have a plan and a new challenge. I have been praying for a while for a direction and the strength to change the way I communicate to my children. Well in a way that only God can do, he has given me an opportunity to work on this...multiple.  times.  a day. Here is the current story.

I must preface this by saying that I love Levi. He is such an awesome kid that I feel blessed to have in my life and to have as my own son. I can already see that God has wired him in such a way as to be a strong soldier for Him. He is also wired to help refine me to be more like Christ. He has the unfortunate job of being first born. This means that I make a LOT more mistakes with him. I hope he won't remember most of them.

We are now over four months into our life with three children. Things have been great! Almost too good to be true...and then it happened. Levi started destroying things in the home. First, a letter from a friend at Christmas (he didn't know what it was). Then a toy of Rachel's. Then a few of my things, and so on, you get the picture. My first thought was that he was just being destructive again (he went through this stage when he was 2). But as it got worse, I thought it had to be more. After four occurrences in one day, (and a few spankings and much yelling) I ran to Facebook and asked for advice. Feeling I was at the end of my rope, it was suggested that he wanted more time with us. That these behaviors were directly related to the new baby. So first, thank you Facebook for giving me the opportunity to get a fresh perspective on my child at 9:00 at night. Secondly, how frustrating this was to me. It seemed I had been put into a false sense of security thinking that since there hadn't been any backlash or regression from Levi up to this point that I was somehow "out of the woods". Rachel experienced some right away and came back around as of mid December. It took longer for Levi to express the feelings he has had. He loves Lauren and is very good with her and loves to help with her. However, he is feeling that his time with me is threatened (I am assuming). He is looking to get my attention in any way that he can. The reason I feel confident in this is that he tells on himself. The last few things that he has destroyed, he came to me right away and confessed. He apologized, but he also knew he wasn't supposed to have the thing in the first place. This instantly sends me into a fury. I usually begin lecturing him and ultimately the yelling starts. I am not proud of this but feel that being honest will help. Afterwards, he is crying I am on some strange adrenaline rush from the yell, and no one has grown.

Until today.

I am on a mission to change. I have tried so many times on my own and with no real plan. Just stop doing it doesn't work.I have been praying daily for God to help me with this awful pattern and now it seems to have gotten worse. (I really believe this had to happen for my motivation to reach the point needed for change). Now I sought some council, I reached out to friends and family that I could trust to pray for me and help me, and I have a PLAN! Today was the beginning of it all.

DAY 1: After he broke something of mine this morning we had the usual melt down of events, but it was (hopefully) our last. After church today he was told to pack up all of his favorite toys. I made him do it and I supervised to make sure that he chose the right ones. He was all too happy to do this and was excitedly running around grabbing toys and saying 'Ooo this is my favorite, this is my favorite.' Soon we had a bin full of toys. I put them just out of reach, but not out of sight and explained that he would be allowed to choose 1 toy to get out of the bin tomorrow morning. If he went the whole day without destroying anyone's property, he could chose another toy the next day and so on. If he destroys anyone's property, he has to put that toy back. He said he understood. We shall see.

My challenge in all this is to remove my emotions from the situation. If/when he destroys someone's property I am to simply tell him that I am disappointed and that he is to go get one of his toys and put it in the bin. Then I will send him to his room to think about his choice. That is it, no more attention on the subject or directed towards him.

On the flip side, my husband and I are both going to make a point to spend at least an hour a week just hanging out with him. He might run an errand with us or we might go to the local coffee shop and play a game.  Either way it won't be directly linked to this new system of toys and bins, but hopefully we are filling the void that he has as his world was a bit disheveled recently. I will update you on this new journey I am taking as a person/mother and hopefully it will have positive outcomes for both Levi and myself.

So after months of praying more seriously about this, God sees that I am ready to take on the task that He has patiently been waiting to walk with me through. He is choosing to use my son to show me how a repeated sin doesn't always need a swift angry punishment. Sometimes the individual needs a soft, loving nudge in the right direction. That doesn't mean there aren't consequences for our actions, it just means that He doesn't add to our consequences. He lets them happen and uses love to woo us back to the better path He has for us. I am not only experiencing this from my Heavenly Father, but I am also trying to model this to my son. If you are reading this, please pray for me this week. I feel a bit like a smoker who has smoked her last cigarette today...

Teaching a Four-Year Old About Death

Recently, Levi experienced his first encounter with the passing of someone he knew. An acquaintance of our family had been struggling with cancer in the past year and Levi visited him in the hospital a few times and prayed for him every night. Mr. Severs went home (at age 66) to be with Jesus in mid December. His memorial service was this past Saturday. Levi came with us and it stirred some questions in his mind about death. Since Saturday I have had to field some deep questions. I delivered the answers in delicate fashion as he is old enough to be afraid of things, yet I want to be truthful too.

Again, he asked me today, "Why do people die?" I simply told him that everyone will one day. He then asked "Where do they go?" Well , I explained one side of the coin today. I told him that if they ask Jesus to live in their hearts that they go to live in Heaven with Jesus. "So they aren't dead?" Well, I said, they are dead, but it just means that they aren't able to live on Earth anymore, they live in Heaven.

He went on to play, satisfied with my answer. Later he comes to me and says, "Mom, how does Jesus live in our hearts?" I told him that simply asking him to is enough. He then says, "Can you ask him to live in mine for me?" I told him that I couldn't do it for him, but that I could help. We then stood together in the kitchen and I helped him ask Jesus into his heart. After we finished, he looked at me with big excitement in his eyes and said, "I get to live with Jesus now!" I told him that I did too because I have Jesus in my heart too. He then proceeded to pepper me with a list of relatives and whether or not Jesus was in their heart.

Today is one of the happiest days in my life. I am humbled to be able to share this moment with my son. I know he doesn't fully understand the decision he has made, but honestly I don't think that matters right now. He will grow to know more and more and I will get to be a part of those days too. I am sure that Mr. Severs got to witness the whole encounter. Even in his passing, he is nurturing a young mind to ask questions and seek out his creator.