The number three "invokes expression, versatility, and pure joy of creativity" according to one site that I found while searching for the significance of the number. While I delight in the tie it has to the "Pure joy of creativity", I must say that there is another meaning for three in this house:
The age at which all current abilities to articulate ones self stops and a regression of moans, whines, and yes, uncontrollable sobbing takes over.
I believe that if I live to tell the tale of the year my daughter was three, I will be one of the bravest women alive!
Okay, dramatic? Yes (maybe I am starting to see where she gets it from...) but in all seriousness, the whining. must. stop!
(and that includes me)
What this phase is showing me is so much more than my capacity to restrain from actually pulling my hair out. It is showing me that God uses my children to discipline me. You see when Rachel is going through one of her tantrums, I have a choice. I can choose to get in her face and MAKE myself heard; which usually ends in both of us acting hysterical and eventually both of us crying and feeling guilty and apologizing...and well you get the picture. OR I can see this from the eyes of someone who has only been on the planet for three little years. Three...its just not enough time to learn to eat, sleep, grow, walk, talk, use the toilet, count, color, play dress up, share, get dressed, pick up toys, sing, dance, AND rationally deal with each situation that is unfavorable to her...and maybe neither is 28.
See I forget that she is only 3. I throw 28 year-old expectations on her without even realizing it! And sometimes I throw 5 year old expectations on her, because her brother gets it why shouldn't she? If I took more time to help her get there instead of being mad that she isn't there, how differently would our days play out?
Now before we head down a path of Mommy guilt, never to return, I want to stop at that one question. "What if I spent more time helping her get there instead of being mad at the fact that she isn't there?" This is my current discipline. You see, I am not a perfect parent (gasp, what?! I know!) But I am the parent that was meant to have these three children. God knew me inside and out before I had these children. They weren't given to me by accident. They were a gift to me as much as I am a gift to them...did you hear me? I AM A GIFT TO THEM TOO!
As I am journeying to become everything God wants me to be I am in charge of being a (huge) part of their journey as well. They will see me grow and change and make mistakes and ask them for forgiveness and apologies all along the way. So today I see that through prayer and meditation I need to be seeing these dramatic-melt downs as a chance to shave off rough parts of my patience and coach my gift (daughter) on how to deal with them too. We are both learning...and we are both making huge mistakes. But Love covers a multitude of sins (whether they come from the mother or the daughter)
I leave you with something that Lisa TerKeurst put on her status today (she is president of Proverbs 31 ministries)
"You have the exact qualities God knew your kids would need in a mother. So, each day, hold up your willingness and ask God to make you the best version of you that you can possibly be."
Go. Ask. Do.
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