A Rachel Moment:

4 months ~ 12lb 4oz ~ 25'' long

Sometimes I feel that she is being left behind in my posts due to the fact that Levi has a lot more funny stories. Also because he has more going on in his life...

Anyway, so this post will just be about her. The above picture was taken at a friend's house the other day. It is my new favorite picture of her! She was all smiles until the camera came out. However, I feel this is a great picture because it captures what she usually looks like. She is a beautiful little girl and I sometimes catch myself wondering what if...

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had over a week of spotting. I called the doctor and let them know that I had a positive pregnancy test, but that I had had some bleeding all week. They said to take it easy, drink lots of water, and they would see me first thing Monday morning (it was a Saturday morning). I then called my midwife to see what she would say. She immediately had me buy and start using progesterone cream. I did exactly what she said and used the cream faithfully for the next six weeks (the end of the first trimester). I also prayed like there was no tomorrow. And to this day, I am not sure if it was the prayer, the cream, a combination of the two, or any of the above, but something worked and I have a healthy beautiful baby to show for it. BUT What if I had not called my midwife?

On that Monday I went to the doctor for an exam and the entire time the woman kept calling my condition most likely a non-viable pregnancy. She never once asked how I felt. She acted as if it was a wort that appeared and may or may not stay around. She never suggested the progesterone cream...or anything...it was just, well if it sticks, it sticks... I left the office in tears. Not sure what to think...I just kept praying for God to have mercy on this baby. Actually, at that point I already felt it was a girl, and you can ask Matthew.

So, throughout my entire pregnancy I had bleeding off and on. At 17 weeks it was so bad that we went for an emergency ultrasound. That was the scariest day of the entire pregnancy. I had already been feeling her move inside me and I was already in love. We went to the midwife for a quick check of the heart beat...it was there strong and steady like always...then the thought entered my mind. What if this baby is completely healthy and yet I am unable to provide it a safe environment to grow in??? I sobbed all the way home and had my closest friends/family praying for me. When we went to have the ultrasound I was in a state of peace. The Lord had assured me that no matter what He would see me through. The ultrasound proved that the baby and its environment were completely healthy...no reason for the bleeding...I was relieved to know everything seemed fine, but I felt uneasy that we couldn't find a cause.

This took me to a place of prayer with the Lord. I had to seek the peace that passes all understanding. I had to trust that whatever was causing the bleeding that God was in control and He would see me through this. And he did. The bleeding came back a few more times, but never like that 17th week. I went on to deliver a beautiful healthy girl at 40 weeks 2 days. Both of my pregnancies and my births were as different as my two children are. However, God has stretched me (spiritually) in each one. I have learned different things through both experiences, but at the end I felt the same. Overjoyed and humbled at the blessing that was in my arms.